May 29, 2023 10:16 pm

Kirstie Clements: ‘Jorts’ – the fashion trend that literally no one looks good wearing

Apparently jorts are a big thing in fashion now, especially with everyone in Northern Hemisphere vacation mode.

I had to do further investigation, because I wasn’t exactly sure what jorts actually are.

Well, jorts are jean shorts apparently, but not the micro-short Daisy Duke version we are used to. These jorts are knee-length jeans, with a ripped edge, mostly high-waisted.

Woah. That’s one of the most difficult things to pull off that I can imagine. I scanned the accompanying photographs in the article. Yup. Hideous.

Everyone looked terrible, no matter what body shape they were. WHAT IS THE POINT?

If it is temperate enough for shorts, knee-length jorts will feel hot and uncomfortable. If it is chilly enough for jeans, then why not let them reach the ankle?

Why sever them at the most unflattering point, designed to make every human leg look shorter and chunkier? It may be part of the thrifting movement, cutting jeans off to give them another life as an ugly tran-seasonal basic, but I don’t want to see jorts.

It takes a special person to pull of the jort. Photo: Getty

They are a close cousin of the Bermuda short, which is bad enough.

A quick scan of menswear trends from the recent shows included high-waisted leather shorts and exposed jockstraps, which aren’t easy to wear either. Maybe designers should literally go back to the drawing board.

Grown-up clothes

At the Dior Haute Couture Autumn Winter 2022-2023 show in Paris this week, the esteemed fashion house dressed a number of celebrities in Dior Couture and Dior (by designer Maria Grazia Chiuri), including Naomi Watts and Sigourney Weaver, and I was stunned to see how gorgeous they all looked.

This is not the reaction I usually have when I see the getups at various red carpets, and even the Met Ball of late, but all these women looked so chic.

Jorts Dior
Attendees like Elle McPherson and Sigourney Weaver opted for ‘adult clothes’. Photo: Dior

What was the common theme? Proper grown-up clothes. Naomi was in a beautiful black chiffon floor-length dress, Sigourney, silk blouse and black evening trousers.

There were impeccably tailored jackets and skirts, capes, and feminine, wide-legged pantsuits.

Elon Musk’s glamorous mother, Maye Musk, wore a floor-length silk patterned evening gown while the legendary Marisa Berenson looked wonderful in a multi-coloured silk robe worn over a full-length dress.

Zoe Saldana looked incredible in an ivory lace skirt with matching vest, as did Elle MacPherson in a long cream skirt. It was proof that you don’t have to flash too much flesh to make a statement.

Haute Couture

There is a new French film showing in Australian cinemas this month titled Haute Couture starring Nathalie Baye, which gives viewers a lovely glimpse into the world of the high fashion atelier and its dedicated craftspeople.

Highly recommended for any lovers of fashion, the film has a lovely scene where Baye lectures a pair of young men on the metro about the importance of fine fabrics.

The scene where her young protege is allowed to try on the legendary Dior bar jacket literally drew a gasp from the audience.

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